Another Scion xB finds a home, this time in Port Orchard.
Recent mileage check: 35.6 mpg combined highway/city
Contemplating a US Navy
nuclear weapon docked
across Sinclair Inlet, the Scion sits quietly,
its on-board
processors computing the probable radius of the blast zone, once somebody
lights
that
puppy up.
Prediction: If this should occur, local property values could be adversely affected.
You can tell we live
in a pretty rough neighborhood . . . even the tough guys across the
bay have their own aircraft carrier and destroyer (see below)
Because it is a rough
neighborhood, we all pack heat . . . even Ilene.
In Kitsap County, we proudly
observe the Bush Doctrine - which means that we will
preemptively cap anyone's ass who even looks like a terrorist, to protect our
way of life . . .
. . . which by the way, is non-negotiable. (joke)
The Scion xB has
more
legroom front and rear than an
Escalade, a
Yukon, or a
Lincoln Navigator.
4" more headroom, too.
Combine all that with great gas mileage, legendary Toyota
reliability,
airbags, premium Pioneer sound system, electronic stability control,
traction control and ABS all standard . . .
What's not to love?
Reflectivity, and the Evolution of Mankind . . . nuff said.
When they come to film in
Port Orchard, the producers
of Pimp My Ride
(MTV Channel-
airs Thursdays at 10:30 pm)
said they will be adding some
door-mounted gun
ports to
this otherwise well-equipped vehicle.
The front seats lay all the way back to make the passenger compartment into a huge bed.
Strangely, no condom
dispensers, lava lamps, or LED mood lighting in this Japanese-built
for America version, unlike the
"Scion bB"
model back home.
Our best guess: The
real alpha vehicle is sniffing the new one's butt,
while
the Diamondback mountain bike looks on with enthusiastic approval.
Note to Law Enforcement:
15 MPH sign in background was liberated from
Seward Park, Seattle, as a sanctioned, covert mission of the
City of Seattle,
Dept of Neighborhoods, due
to numerous bullet holes, it was deemed a
"PR hazard" for the city
(close-up below)
Shotgun blast detail, and 3
large caliber
non-jacketed lead bullet strikes. This is
NOT the sign you want to see in your
neighborhood park.
Scion xB front grill (below),
with license plate frame from
Blackburn
College ~ home of the Fighting Beavers.
Founded by Reverend Gideon
Blackburn. Born in Virginia in 1772,
Rev. Blackburn was of Scotch-Irish decent. In 1859, Blackburn
Theological Seminary opened its doors in Carlinville, IL.
It has since become
Blackburn College.
go there
